We spoke about the therapy/therapist issues in the group today, and I think working on empowerment with your therapist would be a good (massive) step. So addressing session length, whether hypnosis is a tool that should be continued with (see if you can check in outside of therapy with other headmates about it!), and so on will help you/y’all take more control of the therapy sessions, and hopefully start to mitigate the potential for counter-transference. He’s not your& savior. And y’all all have hired him to help y’all, not to promote being stuck in therapy.
Here’s a PDF of the 3 stages graphic we shared during the class. So that y’all can see some of the skills y’all may not be getting in therapy. Be cautious about doing any trauma work without making sure that y’all have good coping skills. Yes, sometimes something does come up and needs to be handled in some way (such as containment, but also potentially working to process it) — but do be careful about it.
And the system map is something your system will have to decide when it’s time to share it. Maybe they can make an abridged map that they ARE able to share with you, rather than the full everything map. Something to help you understand some of what’s going on.
It’s really tough being in a position of being a host that’s kept out of the loop. At the same time, you might need to be ready, willing and able to accept many different things. We don’t know the composition of your& system but it could well contain multitudes, could be a lot of kids, or a lot of non-humans, or a lot of differently-gendered folk. They could be gay or trans (so might you, but for some people that’s a shock). And so on. They might not be what you expect at all. The more open-minded & inclusive you are in your own personal thinking the easier it will be when you do find out more.
Also there’s the question of how becoming more co-conscious might affect the other things you do like working. And whether you’re really ready for roadbumps that might happen from finding out more.
Regardless, I think y’all need more direct contact with each other, to remove the middleman (literally) from internal communication somehow, and we’ll talk more about the tools you might be able to use elsewhere. Because you have valid reasons for communication concerns. And we’re really upset on all of your behalf about that — we’re really sorry that the world shat on your& internal trust in that way.
The best encrypted communication system out there for y’all is in your own head if y’all can get there ASAP. Not saying that as pressure. But they (external folk) can’t read minds yet, so the best place bar none will always be behind your& ears if and when y’all can manage it.